Karl Gallagher ([info]selenite) wrote,
@ 2009-06-18 20:29:00
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Current mood: mischievous
Entry tags:daily life

Parenting Poll
Watching Disney's Robin Hood got 7-year-old Maggie onto the subject of honeymoons and where to go on them. I figure that's a decision to make together with the spouse-to-be. So next time this comes up I'm tempted to say "You should decide that with your husband. So when you meet someone, ask him where he'd want to go on a honeymoon so you can get to know him better."
Poll #1417869
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 30

Is that:

View Answers

Good advice.
6 (20.0%)

Bad advice.
3 (10.0%)

Bad advice which will drive off most boys. Do it.
21 (70.0%)


(12 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]electricpaladin
2009-06-19 03:08 am UTC (link)
Bad advice which will drive off most boys. Do it...

Because the good boys will stay.

(Reply to this)


[info]archangelbeth
2009-06-19 03:22 am UTC (link)
Sadly, I'm going to answer seriously. Bad advice, because it implies that you are already thinking that "seriously" and to the Really Really Awful kind of manipulative jerk... that means, "Oh, look, a naive victim to play with, convince I'm her World and Star and Everything, and isolate so I can subject her to emotional abuse."

And in other, less self-esteem-overinflated, it may raise false hopes, resulting in an upset emotional leech.

If you can inculcate the data on when that tactic is likely to backfire by attracting nuisances (or actual dangers)? Then it'd be a great way to amuse oneself. O:>

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[info]selenite
2009-06-19 11:31 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I'm not being serious about this. More just amusing myself as I try to recover from horrid bug.

Now, Heinlein's suggestion of skeet-shooting as an early date . . . that I'm going to pass along seriously once her skills are competitive.

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[info]celticdragonfly
2009-06-20 04:02 am UTC (link)
Heh. Yeah. They do make that pink rifle...

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[info]tepintzin
2009-06-19 07:09 am UTC (link)
You're assuming that she'll be asking this of a BOY.

10% chance she might not.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
That's what I was thinking
[info]sweetmmeblue
2009-06-19 07:33 am UTC (link)
What if she swings the other way? What if she winds up wanting some other type of untraditional family structure?

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Re: That's what I was thinking
[info]selenite
2009-06-19 11:26 pm UTC (link)
Then I'd be less worried about her dealing with predatory behavior.

Doesn't look like the way to bet at the moment, though.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: That's what I was thinking
[info]celticdragonfly
2009-06-20 03:59 am UTC (link)
Well, then she can ask her where she would want to go on a honeymoon.

Mind, I keep talking about how there are different kinds of families, and we've discussed that there are even places where it is legal for women to marry women or men to marry men - but she keeps talking about her future in terms of single him. Who knows. We'll see what happens in puberty.

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[info]weirdsister
2009-06-19 01:40 pm UTC (link)
Another good one is to ask on the first date which baby names are most appealing! LOL

BTW, Maggie has excellent taste. Disney's Robin Hood is still one of my favorite movies...I own a copy, and can quote it practically verbatim!

(Reply to this)

I clicked bad advice
[info]drwex
2009-06-19 06:07 pm UTC (link)
Because I'm generally of the believe that I, as a parent, ought not to give my kids ANY relationship advice unless they ask.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: I clicked bad advice
[info]selenite
2009-06-19 11:33 pm UTC (link)
Given the number of ways they can get hurt emotionally and otherwise I think we do need to give an overview of basics to them. Actual advice on dealing with specific individuals I'll back off from.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: I clicked bad advice
[info]celticdragonfly
2009-06-20 04:01 am UTC (link)
Oh. I think we do. I think we REALLY really do.

I really didn't get any as a child. And man it screwed me up. I should have learned so many important skills.

Maggie (and eventually the others) get chats with me about how important it is to build a good family, how it takes work, how some people are good at it and some people aren't, that there are good parents/spouses and bad ones, that she should be PICKY, etc.

Now, specifics, like when she's 16 "I don't think Bob's good enough for you", no, that's probably doomed to failure. But I want her to be prepared down in her bones at a young age to build a healthy future.

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(12 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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