So, I got hired to do this job. To do the job I need to see everyone's documents. Everyone's put their documents on the server. But that's a Lockheed server and has proprietary data subcontractors (oops, "teammates") like me aren't supposed to see. So they declared a policy that everyone has to put their data in the special database website with the search function from hell (ie, it's easier to call people to find the author to ask him what directory it's in than to search for the document). Then put me and the rest of the subcontractors on a network that can see the website but not the server. But since the website interface is so horrible everybody's kept putting their data on the server.
So my boss is pissed because I can't do my job, and I'm talking to an IT guy who's trying to understand why I want him to violate this policy and let me see the server with all of this no-subcontractor data.